Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category
Dinner at our table.
I was in the mood for comfort food tonight, so I made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and corn.
First thing both children informed me that they do not like potatoes.
How can you not like a potato? It’s a nothing food! Like rice. Plus, I was in a Paula Dean mood and used a ton of butter.
Then I was told that they don’t like the ‘crust’ on the meatloaf. The best part really. So that means no ends for them (fine, I like those best anyway).
They also carefull cut the top off of what I gave them. Apparently I was supposed to core out just the center of the meatloaf for them.
Once everyone had a plate of food and we were down to the eating of it, I noticed that Celia had her hands in her pants. Like, way in there.
Sent her to wash her hands.
Then Chris almost threw up on the table in a fail effort to swallow and breathe at the same time. This happens almost nightly. I would really worry about this had I never eaten in public with him and observed that while amoung other people….he has impeccable table manners. Just not here at home.
Celia returned to the table saying her hands were clean….but with a smile that said otherwise. Genius that I am, I say “Fine, them let me smell them” knowing that they would not smell of soap and I’d send her back to reall wash them (but not thinking that was not all they would smell like).
Sent her back to wash her hands.
Since Jordan has eaten the center out of his meatloaf, there’s nothing left for him to do but gaze at the plate and poke forlornly at his food.
Celia returns to the table (with clean hands this time) and insists on singing us a song before she finishes eating.
It was an adorable song. One that she finished by putting her hands back in her pants.
I pointed out that now she had to wash her hands again.
“MY PANTIES WERE TWISTED AND I HAD TO FIX THEM AND I’M DONE EATING ANYWAYS”
Bon appetit.
