Fat Girl
I’m not happy about the weight gain this year.
And when Celia came up to me last week, patted me on the now ample rear and said “Come on fat girl, let’s go color” it really struck a nerve. You know what they say about kids and honesty….
About a month ago Sasha sent me this Cool Running spreadsheet. It’s worked really well for her, so I begged for it, and she sent it to me. But then I looked at it, couldn’t understand most of it, and realized it’s for someone with a treadmill. Which I don’t have.
So I decided to adapt my walking the dog to fit with it. Basically, you briskly walk some, then you run some. Sounds easy, right?
I decided that Bennie and I would start walking two blocks, then running one.
Well first, Bennie isn’t sure about this running thing. It’s new, it makes him nervous, and he tries to run right between my legs. That doesn’t work so well. I have to jump the dog every three steps.
Also, since he’s nervous, he poops early in the walk.
Have you ever tried to run with a bag of poo? It’s not easy. You’ve got to hold the poo waaaaay out to the side so that it doesn’t brush against you with every step (I don’t care if it is in a bag, it’s still poo!).
So there I am, running down the blog, jumping over the dog, and holding my arm straight out to the side so the poo doesn’t come into contact with me.
If that’s not enough to make my neighbors fling open the door and shout “RUN FORREST!”, I don’t know what is.
Thank goodness is gets dark early. I don’t know what I’m going to do in the summer. Run at midnight I guess.
But I will get thin again.
Yesterday I went to have a dress fitted. As the seamstress struggle with the zipper she politely asked me “Are you retaining water?”
No, I’m retaining freaking brownies.
Oh, man… I can so relate! Someone told Olivia that she looked like me and she said, “yes, but Mommy is much, much puffier!”
@_@
Becky
February 21, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Of course I read this immediately after scarfing down a huge bowl of mac and cheese. Yeah, I occasionally get those honest remarks, too – “Look, Mommy, your belly jiggles!” I’ve been saying for weeks that I’m going to start walking regularly, and with all of the recent peer pressure from your blog and the bargain board, I may actually get off my rump and start doing it!
the driftwood collector
February 21, 2008 at 2:34 pm
That’s a whole new level to “evil neighbors”. ;o)
I had to switch my workout to night time because my 2.5 year old workout partner was not much of a help. He assumes that mommy on the floor = jump on mommy’s belly. It may be squishy but I cannot be a trampoline.
Shannon
February 23, 2008 at 1:24 am
LOL at “retaining brownies”!!!!
You need my younger dog, she has never pooped OR peed on a walk, and keep whatever pace I’m at, so I have no excuse. My older one is exactly as you described, as soom as I get going, he stops to poop, pee or sniff, as if the walk is for HIM!
Cake
February 23, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Maybe wait till the cool down to swing back by the house, grab the dog and walk him at the end of your work out? Your description had me in tears of laughter, and I feel guilty because I know how frustrating it can be to try and work out only to have the circumstances become hazardous to your health…i.e., I felt like I’d have a heart attack form the stress of trying to jog with our 100 lb. dog, 3 year old in the stroller and 7 year old on his bike. The fear of keeling over and leaving them stranded, combined with my need for “quiet time” so I could concentrate on getting a good work out in is enough to kill ya. Walk/runs are the best way to start and keep up a routine…you are going to do great once you get in a groove.
C'tina
February 24, 2008 at 11:20 am