J and C and Me

I’m not happy about the weight gain this year.

And when Celia came up to me last week, patted me on the now ample rear and said “Come on fat girl, let’s go color” it really struck a nerve. You know what they say about kids and honesty….

About a month ago Sasha sent me this Cool Running spreadsheet. It’s worked really well for her, so I begged for it, and she sent it to me. But then I looked at it, couldn’t understand most of it, and realized it’s for someone with a treadmill. Which I don’t have.

So I decided to adapt my walking the dog to fit with it. Basically, you briskly walk some, then you run some. Sounds easy, right?

I decided that Bennie and I would start walking two blocks, then running one.

Well first, Bennie isn’t sure about this running thing. It’s new, it makes him nervous, and he tries to run right between my legs.  That doesn’t work so well.  I have to jump the dog every three steps.

Also, since he’s nervous, he poops early in the walk.

Have you ever tried to run with a bag of poo?  It’s not easy.  You’ve got to hold the poo waaaaay out to the side so that it doesn’t brush against you with every step (I don’t care if it is in a bag, it’s still poo!).

So there I am, running down the blog, jumping over the dog, and holding my arm straight out to the side so the poo doesn’t come into contact with me.

If that’s not enough to make my neighbors fling open the door and shout “RUN FORREST!”, I don’t know what is.

Thank goodness is gets dark early.  I don’t know what I’m going to do in the summer.  Run at midnight I guess.

But I will get thin again.

Yesterday I went to have a dress fitted.  As the seamstress struggle with the zipper she politely asked me “Are you retaining water?”

No, I’m retaining freaking brownies.